- Jennifer Z. Major
Cheating? Sure. Wait! WHAT?
Allow me to explain.
See that chin? How about that neck?
(Not to mention the sand on my shoulder that totally looks like Herculean dandruff?)
Let's just say that my chin does not look like that. Sorry...my chins do not look like that. And seriously, if my neck was that taut and perfect? I'd be running around town yelling "Look at my neck!! LOOK AT IT! See? I'm not a turkey!"
People, my neck is cheating. And yes, I really like this picture! We can all thank RCP for her epic neck and chin reduction skills.
You know what else cheated?
My hand and my taste buds.
You can see where this is going, can't you?
Guess who found herself all alone in a quiet house with a small supply of chocolate?
That person (the one with the nice neck) in the picture.
Guess who would make a terrible person to have around when the Borg attack?
"Hey, give up now. I mean, resistance is futile, right?"
Here's the thing, lately, I've been daydreaming about chocolate.
And more chocolate.
I've mentioned before that I am neither a zealot, nor a legalist. I will not condemn someone to public scrutiny or worse, public shaming, for losing their proverbial footing on a narrow and difficult trip across a rickety bridge.
That being said, I like doing things right and succeeding in my efforts.
But, let's just say it was a moment when the house was empty, the tea was on, and holy frijoles, I JUST NEEDED SOME CHOCOLATE!!!
Do I feel guilt-ridden and despondent? Nope.
Not at all.
I heard someone say, ages ago so I have no idea who it was, that if one is craving something...CRAVING IT...just go ahead and have a reasonably small amount. Just enough to enjoy, but not enough to do any damage.
You see, there's a world of difference between cheating, "Yes, I wrote this thesis, Mr Professor."
"No, I did. And you got it online."
Me and myself had this conversation...
"So....I ate a spoon of chocolate sauce."
"Well, considering your track record of 100% ketobedience all the time? I'm sure you're fine. Besides, what kind of spoon was it? A soup ladle? A canoe paddle?"
"It was a cereal spoon. But only half full."
Eye roll...discussion over.
Yes. I gave myself some grace. Because seriously, as far as "cheating" goes? It wasn't a "there goes her self discipline forever!!!" kind of thing. It was more "Fine, have some. Enjoy it. But do not make this a habit. Hear me? Do not. There. Now off you go."
Yes, the chocolate thing was minor.
But as far as doing things right?
That "cheating" was pretty much my limit.
When it comes to my writing?
It's a whole other ball game.
I do NOT wing it. I don't put some minor cultural detail in somewhere and hope no one notices. I won't give my Navajo characters made-up names that sound like I got them from an old TV Western set in Oregon.
Some might say, "Why not cheat a little? No one will know."
I will know.
My astute readers will know.
My Navajo advisors and mentors will know.
And God will know.
Removing a chin on a photo? Blissing-out over a teeny amount of chocolate?
No big deal.
Cheating, and therefore lying, because it's easier than researching the truth?