If I could be anywhere right now, it would be on an ocean beach. Sorry-not sorry, lakes just aren't the same.
And if not a beach, it would be there...on a ridge looking down into a vast, quiet valley, just a few hundred paces from the home of my friends Ted and Evie Charles, near Gallup, New Mexico.
They call New Mexico The Land of Enchantment. There is a peace there that is almost other-worldly. It most certainly is enchanting. I think that when God made New Mexico, He took His time. Especially with the sky.
I could quite happily sit outside and watch that sunset and wait for the stars to come out. You see, I could use a whole lot of peace and solitude right now. A LOT.
Why?
Because things have gone from the realm of "hard waiting" to "the land of starting over".
And that road is paved with sharp rocks, jagged glass, and epic disappointment.
What happened?
Well, I am no longer with my original literary agency, and thus, am facing a change of direction.
No, I won't be sharing the details. Not here. Not anywhere public. Nope, not gonna go down that path.
What's next?
Will I self-publish? There is a great deal of solid logic behind that plan.
Will I seek out a general market agent? There is also a great deal of solid logic to that plan.
How am I feeling?
One thing is certain, and I know this to be true, I am not alone. I never was, I never will be. Faith is my anchor. Especially in this storm. Does that mean I'm not angry or upset? Of course not. But the reality is that saying the things that come to mind serve no purpose other than pouring fuel on an already powerful fire. I will not disparage anyone. I won't. I have good friends in that agency whom I love dearly. That has not changed.
Where am I going?
Nowhere, but somewhere. I'm going to let myself feel the feelings and go through the grief process. I don't know what God has planned, but it will be interesting to find out.
For now, I will strive to do as the Navajo/Diné do, and "walk in beauty".