Waiting is really hard. Trust me.
Also, trust me when I say that it's gotten to the point now that when someone very sweetly asks when my book is coming out, I just want to sprout wings and fly away. Which is exactly what happened over the weekend. Sadly, no wings were involved.
I honestly have no idea when my Navajo books will be coming out. And no, there is no one more tired of saying that than I am.
Do I have all the support I need to bring my book babies into the world? Almost. I just need a publisher to fall as madly for them as those dear souls who've read them.
But here's the thing, it's not like my wonderful agent Wendy Lawton can just cruise into a publishing house and say "Here, you're welcome." and toss my manuscript on a desk.
It does not work like that. It never will.
(And seriously, I cannot see her ever doing that!!)
Will I go indie? That's a question that has a monumental answer, and I'm not currently in the mindset of going that direction. Many have, and do very well. But indie, so far, is not my cup of tea.
I am currently working on some romantic comedies, just to stretch my skills and keep writing. Because that's the thing, I need to keep writing.
I can't not write.
This evening, yes, it's evening here...I was putting a log in our wood stove when I thought and felt quite down about how things had stalled so much on the books of my heart. Then, a thought bloomed, "remember the view".
I need to remember the view from the very tops of the highest mountains I've been on, those times when I was utterly in the bull's eye of God's perfect plan, and I had CHILLS from how plain as day it was that the moment was totally divinely orchestrated, and then carry that to where I sit each day and work toward my calling.
Those peaks are still there. I was there. I will, at some point, be there again.
The thing is, and many people have said this to many others stuck in the doldrums of endless waiting, God's time is not our time. When these books do come out, it will be when He ordains. God is never late. He does not need a watch. No amount of begging or bargaining will persuade the King of Heaven to give in to my pleading.
Yes, I freely admit that it is quite hard to see books come out that hadn't even been written when I started mine. Is jealousy an issue? Only a bit. But as a wise friend told me once, the feelings that I'm feeling toward someone as I process envy will be going through someone else when my books come out.
So, as a warrior in constant training for battles that never seem to come, I need to remember that oh yes, they will come! I have many author friends who are given ridiculous reviews, had hurtful words hurled at them from total strangers, are slandered and maligned, all over a story.
And, yet? We persist. Why? Because the Master Storyteller has given us a task, and while we may grow weary of the cold, muddy miles that we have to trudge along as we make our way up the hill, we all remember the view of the top.